6A- The Climb

When it comes to hardships, we all are facing something.  When reading this weeks assignments I had to decide again how much I want to inform everyone.  It became apparent after a few days what I had no choice what to write about.  

Fears.  Everyone is afraid of something. But what happens when that fear is diagnosed as a phobia. The girl who lives across the hall from me texted me and informed me that she had thrown up Monday morning.  My heart sunk at this information. Ever since I was a child, I have had a fear of getting sick in this way.  I had avoided it at all costs.  Anytime someone I knew would get sick, I would avoid contact with anyone for a week if not more.  Someone got sick in my house, did not walk in that part of my house for two years.  Not until this week did I come to the realization that this was not a fear.  It was a phobia.

I am very vigilant with washing my hands and rarely miss taking vitamins.  I always attempt to get the correct amount of sleep and do everything to avoid this.  That Monday, all I could think about was the possibility of ways that I could have been exposed to the bacteria or virus.  This thought process is what lead me into my week from hell. 

Have you ever convinced yourself that you were sick? So much that you also convinced your body that you were.  Every symptom associated with the sickness rushes over your body at once.  Your throat begins to close up, not allowing you to breathe.  Your whole body begins to shake and you feel as if your worst fear is coming true. Have you ever had it happen more than 10 times in one week?

Neither had I.

In the past week, I have had this exact process happen to me multiple times.  Some during classes, some while trying to fall asleep, some in the middle of the night. When talking to my counselor about it she explained to me that I was having a panic attack.  We worked together in order to find things that would possibly work in order to get me through these attacks. Although there is no way for me to know if any of you have suffered similar anxiety related attacks, and I hope that none of you have, I thought I would explain the things that got me through it.

http://www.medicalook.com/Mental_health/Anxiety.html

• Start taking deep breaths.
• Get a glass of water
• Distract yourself with something that you enjoy(ex. music, socializing, watching television, etc.)
• Assure yourself that you will be okay no matter what happens.
• Talk to someone (ex. counselor, family member, friend)
• Think about the things that make you the happiest.

Although I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, I am hoping that I will be able to better control them.  It will not be easy, but with the help of the people who care about me, I hope to improve.  This is something that I have been struggling with for many years, and will most likely still be fighting for years to come.  My only option is to not give up.  I know that in order to overcome this, I will need to face it head on and never let it take over my life.